Sometimes Life Sucks

Sometimes it feels like my goals are slipping from my grasp. Life comes along and bites me in the….butt.

Yep, sometimes life sucks and when it does, it’s tough to stay the course.

This is what I do:

1.     Remember why I write? I love it, I can not write. I’ve never gone through anything without working with pen and paper. Mostly poetry, but those times are when the best poems come. It is what gets m through.

2.     I list priorities and goals. Writing them down helps me focus. I reread them often.  It is a rudder to reset my direction and remind myself my direction.

3.     I break the goals into the smallest manageable step. Sometimes all I expect of myself is to read through my poetry notes. Always, always I find the shadow work for a new poem. I celebrate each accomplished step, too, if only with a pat on the back. Breaking things down to such small steps seems slower, but I find it actually is a faster way to my goal.

4.     I take care of me. That is more important than anything else I can do. When life comes at me hard or sad or fast I acknowledge it and look at what I might need. Do I need down time, fun, rest? A friend to talk to, a time out. I try to eat well, good, healthy food and I exercise. Favorite thing to do is walk. Walking never fails to clear my head, help with my writing and stress. I treat myself to chocolate, 1 oz. a day, but I  savor, savor, savor.

5.     I take that leisure time.

Remember life doesn’t stop just because I have writing I want or need to do, so I try to use life.  If life sucks, I write through it, write down my thoughts, feelings, decisions. Feel each fully and put on paper what I can’t say out loud. I try to remind myself that I can’t possibly write about emotion, events, happenings without experiencing them. I try to treat myself as if I’m my best friend. I do what I can. After all, writers write about life and firsthand knowledge is truth. Truth is where the best writing comes from.  

Just Past Splat

Success is that way ºjust a little past SPLAT.

 

What if you knew you’d sell your first book April 16, 2014? I’ll bet there would be no problem keeping up with your writing until that day, would there? But…you don’t know, you can’t know. But the discouragement of today that makes you want to quit, that sinking-shoulder feeling you get in the middle of a tough to write scene, the doubt that whispers, what the hell are you wasting your time for? that makes you long to stop putting yourself through rejections, might only be a rock you’ve stumbled over on the road toward publication.

Think about how many unsuccessful writers just needed to keep writing one more day, take one more rejection, try for the brass ring once more. We’ll never know, never read their book. Wouldn’t that be the saddest thing? Wonder if your favorite writer, LaVyrle Spencer, Kaki Warner or Elizabeth Lowell quit the day before they put the finishing touches on the books you love so much. If anyone of them had said, “That’s enough rejection!” after the first rejection letter. We never would have heard of any of them. We would be missing those wonderful books left inside them and what a loss.

I get so frustrated with the media’s attitude toward failure. Take NASA and their mistakes and failures. The media questions suggest that these setbacks are a waste of time and money. That failure is completely unacceptable.  Is failure a reason to scrape the whole mission? To stop trying? Where would NASA be if they had quit with their first failure? It certainly wouldn’t be to the moon, mars or even the sky.

The thing is, we really don’t learn much from success. We see how damaging success too soon can be. If we have to struggle, work harder than we ever thought we could, we learn how much we want something and it’s that much more valuable. We tend to use the success better, too. And if we always met with success, we’d learn to be careful; we wouldn’t dare change what we were doing. Think of the daring, wonderful books that would never have been written, let alone read. No polio vaccine, no Post-it™ notes. Think of the avenues we as a nation, as a people would never have taken.

We learn best from our failures. We improve because of them.

If you can’t risk the rejection, you can’t risk beginning. If you won’t allow yourself to fail, you won’t even start. Tell yourself every day, at the point where success seems hopeless, even impossible you might only be inches or days away from your goal. Hang on. Don’t quit. I won’t.

February. Already!

It’s well into February. I’ve been just terrible at writing in my blog. No real excuse, other than I’m trying hard to put my writing first. To do that, I must put less into social media which I’m really not into anyway, but I do this blog and put a quote on facebook on occasion. Quotes are my passion and my go to, to get going. There are so many great ones out there that speak to me and I just must share. I was taught to. Besides, I’ve found nothing helps me as much as inspiring someone else or giving someone else a hand up. And passing on something that helps me…helps.

Anyway, I’ve never done much online, but I’ve been up to even less because my rewrites have completely filled my head, mind and thereby, fingers. Every once in a while though, I do get this little snarky feeling of guilt, but why? Not many are following this blog, but still, if there is just one reader that gets a boost from my words, that’s enough. I mean, we got to help each other, right?

Writing is a lonely, tough business and on and on and we all know that. Right? So really what I need, want every day when I sit at my desk and put fingers to the keyboard is a few, just a few, not to many, ‘cause I’m busy, I got dreams and words crowding my mind…I want a few words of wisdom about how to keep going. Quotes are the thing, then, aren’t they?

So, on my desk today:

We thrive on hope

BEWARE! Beyond, there be dragons. Slay the Dragon

Day by day, page by page, we build a book.

Out at the edge of your will and stamina, there is always a place where you come upon despair. That is just the place you feel the rush of your second wind. –From The Tracker, by Tom Brown, jr.

A sailor shipwrecked on this coast, bids you set sail. Full many a ship, when his was lost, weathered the gale. –found on a deserted Greek island, centuries ago.

Happy writing!

My Tips for Renewing Your Writing Intentions for 2013

1.     Commit to ten minutes or ten paragraphs. Heck, if all you dare commit to is ten words. Commit to them.

 Try to get to your computer or desk ten minutes earlier.  Do something small and doable. Add a quick detail to a character sketch, read a poem and consider edits or infuse with some new words, such as words found in a magazine, in an ad, in the paper that morning. Clean your desk of unnecessary stuff and file what you need. Ten minutes is easy. Anyone can do something for ten minutes. My best thing to do is start typing: a quote I found, a prompt I’d like to use. Just start typing. For me it’s like a warm-up. Once I start typing, I go on to my daily writing, gangbusters.

Just tell yourself you’ll work for ten minutes. Always, always I do more, but if you don’t, at least you got ten minutes in. A lot can happen in ten minutes. Keep upping the time you commit to.

2.     Use one day a week to plan the next week’s writing. Monday, character sketches, Tuesday an outline or a general direction you want to write toward. (I’m a firm believer that if you’re headed in the right direction, all you have to do is start.), Wednesday, research. You get the idea. Get organized. Make a plan, however rough, it gets your mind started and on what you want it to be on before you even sit down to work.

3.     Remember to take a break every hour and move, get a drink, stretch. Try to walk every working day. Being healthy as possible keeps the mind alert and function at its best.

A lot of plot problems or character issues seem to work out as I take my daily walk. Outside is best. Nature feeds creativity.

Take care of yourself. Keep happy. All of that helps the writing.

4.     Think positive and do it anyway you can. Read inspirational stuff whenever and wherever you find it. I find great stuff I can apply to my writing in the business section or health section of the newspaper or magazines, but I seek it out everywhere. And because I seek it, I find it. Buy a book of quotes, buy a book on a better life. The Oprah Magazine publishes one favorite of mine: Words That Matter, Everyday Truths to Guide and Inspire.

You can control how you think and if you struggle to do so, get help where you can. Read a page or two every day from something that inspires you, uplifts you.  Direct your thinking in the way you want it to go. Be challenged, be inspired, learn for those who have found success. Seek mentors in every part of your life. You really don’t have to met your best mentor in person. You can just read them, listen to them, watch them.   

5.     Don’t be satisfied with New Years’ Resolutions. Make resolutions for a new day or a new week. Make small, doable changes. Reflect on how you can improve, then set your mind, to it. Don’t take on more. Take on focused and better. None of us is going to stick with more. We have all we can do now. Better, simpler, focused? These are things anyone can do. I can do.

Gift Ideas for Writers

My loved ones puzzle over what to get me for Christmas every year. They ask, then shake their heads at my answers. The answers are always the same…every year and truth is, boring: books, notebooks, really cool extra fine point pens in black and red, stuff for my cameras (which they know won’t be used for normal pictures of loved ones but instead, research: What the hell is this picture of the corner of a log cabin for? Why photos of fencing, buckskin horses, guns, clothing…well, you get the idea.), post-it notes, more post-it notes, project display boards, more post-it notes, printer ink.

My ‘job’ doesn’t require fancy clothes (or clothes, for that matter, other than the commute, it goes right past picture window highway, so pj’s, at least.) and I’m a jeans and t-shirt kind of girl anyway. The only jewelry—earrings, transportation—shank’s ponies, no smart phone, I’m too busy observing the actual world, no tablet, (yet) I have a laptop, thank you.

I wonder, are their others out there struggling to find gifts for the writer on their list?

Suggestions:

Books:

Vex, Hex, Smash, Smooch by Constance Hale: I worried this book would be boring, too difficult, but it was fun, so full of information. I read it cover to cover and it now has a prominent place on my reference shelf.

Rivet Your Readers with Deep Point of View by Jill Elizabeth Nelson: Tiny book, quick read, tons of help.  Worth buy at twice the price. http://www.facebook.com/JillElizabethNelson.Author

The Emotion Thesaurus, A Writer’s Guide to Character Expression by Angela Ackerman and Becca Puglisi: A great starting place for showing emotion. http://www.thebookshelfmuse.blogspot.com

A Dictionary of Costume and Fashion, Historic and Modern by Mary Brooks Picken: A must for describing, with proper terms, clothing of any period.

Anything on writing by James Scott Bell: Bell just tells it like it is and then helps you get through it, whether plotting, revising, or The Art of War for Writers, which is my personal favorite. I consider Bell a friend to writers, you know, one of those who made it and keep putting out a hand to help someone else.

Pens: I love pens, fat pens, skinny pens, pretty pens, plain pens. I collect pens. I have pens nobody, but nobody, better use. I have expensive pens…pens I love but I never use and I have pens I write with. I must have one of those pens to work. My favorites: Dr. Grip Gel by Pilot, Retractable T l fine point from Office Max, absolute fav: Precise V5 rt extra fine point by Pilot

Notebooks: I have tons of these, some I use, some I can’t bring myself to write in. I try every new notebook that comes out. I love them all, but for carrying with me on my research jaunts, Staples Gold Fibrė Writing Pad by Ampad.

Post-its: I go with the Post-it™ brand. They’re generally on sale somewhere. I do like the lined.

Oh, and chocolate is never wrong.

I’m not the only fussy writer: Pencils must be round. A  hexagonal pencil cuts my fingers after a long day. –John Steinbeck

 

Reading and Happiness

Great article in this month’s Reader’s Digest titled, “How Reading Makes You Happy” by Jessica Cassity. The list of reasons: encourage positive thinking, friendship, teaches empathy, stirs memories, inspires.

Wow, just from reading. Seems impossible. Yet, I do remember the exquisite happiness of every other Saturday when the family made the trip to the library. To this day, nothing makes me as happy as browsing through shelves and stacks of old books. Old books are like the library of my youth. The Children’s section was in the basement and every visit was full of wonder and tactile sensory invasions. Of lemon oil and heavy oak furniture, card files, long scarred tables and chairs that scuffed and dragged the wooden floor. Books and books and books, hardback books, books with library cards and cream-colored pages, just slightly musty, the outside covers dark muted navy or green or burgundy. The hushed whispers, the occasional too-loud laugh, the white-haired, grandmother-faced Mrs. Peterson shushing.

I was in fifth grade when Mrs. Peterson told my mother I had scoured through and read everything in the children section I was even possibly interested in. (That summer I decided to read every fiction book on horses in the library. It was a whole shelf long, but I did it. How I wish I could remember the titles. That was also the year I decide I wanted to grow up and be just like Louis May Alcott. Hey, look where writing got her.) She told mother to take me on upstairs to the Adult fiction.

Truth to tell, the Adult section wasn’t nearly as sensuous. Truth was it was a bit of a letdown. There were no doll collections, no aquariums, no terrariums, no stereoscopes, but the upside was I could look in the same section as my older siblings. I thought I was something and I did find reading to fall in love with and yes, happiness. Think Gone with the Wind, Forever Amber, Rod McKuen, Shane and Mrs. Mike and happiness. 

Note: One of my regrets, not really a life changing one, but, maybe, a life enriching one, is that I didn’t write down all the many, many books I read from the time I started reading, especially, from that year on. I didn’t think about doing so until 1994. How I wish I had. It’s tough going back, but I do try. I wish I had encouraged my children, all good readers, to do so, but I didn’t think of it. You can be sure I encourage my grandkids.

Remember these two things:
The world would be a happier place if we got rid of illiteracy, right?
When the world is crazy and things like 9/11, Sandy, shootings happen and you're sitting at your desk wondering if what you're doing is important, remember...it is. 

Persevere Is To Live

The last several weeks have been a mad dash to finish harvesting and putting to bed my garden as well as my mother’s. As usual, Mother Nature and the fates have not cooperated, but I persevere. Hey, if nothing else, I am tenacious. (All right, some would say stubborn, but I like tenacious. It rolls off the tongue….nicer. All those a’s and the sh sound. Sounds like a word to be prouder of.)

Then something was slowing up my desktop computer and I might be computer challenged but I know when to call an expert. My laptop, as well, started giving me little nudges. Polite little messages: It’s time to think about replacing your battery. I don’t wait for the brick to land on my head, not anymore. So, a call to my computer guru. Withdrawal started as he walked away with my Ruby Dee (Don’t tell me you don’t name your computer. Ruby Dee is red. Why red, well I think it was my computer tech’s way of being nice. At the time, my laptop was red. Why? I’m cheap. It was 10% off, if I bought the red. I could just Skinit down the road if I couldn’t stand it, right? So, the red computer.)

But, I have a laptop. My tech had a new battery. Battery faulty, but still I had the old laptop and I don’t mind being plugged in. I kept on working, looking after my mom and looking forward to an antique fair. It was a stomach bug that leveled me.

Desktop back in action. Yeh! Still working on the battery for the laptop, but things are straightening out.

One last chore in the garden before the snowstorm predicted for Friday: