October Godsends:

Quote on my Zen calendar for today: It takes a certain maturity of mind to accept that nature works as steadily in rust as in roses. —Esther Warner Dendel

• A gold haze gilding everything
• The moon playing tag with ghostly clouds
• Crisp air and the breeze murmuring freeze
• Fall pansies
• The scent of dry, neon leaves tumbling down the street like children just let out of school
• Magpies squabbling over the walnuts dropping from my trees
• Pumpkin piles at the grocery stores
• My own pile of winter squash by the front door
• Worn-soft sweatshirts
• Fireplaces

Today, I begin a new workshop Theme Power!: Poetic Exploration in Memory, Love & Longing, Loss, and The Natural World & Awakening with Melanie Faith. I’m excited to do another workshop with Melanie. I think some of my best work I did in her last workshop so I’m hoping for even better things. It’s a busy month and I’ll be pushing myself just a bit.

That might be a mixed blessing. I’ve been so careful, worrying of stirring that giant sleeping inside me—mpgn. The lower case letters are on purpose. I’ve tried every way to minimize this disease. Visualizing my tough, little kidneys beating the heck out of mpgn. In my head, I pile the letters to look like some strange monster, then visualize my kidneys kickboxing the devil out of the monster, first, with the help of prednisone and aspirin—Now, just me and aspirin boxing gloves.

I’ve kept stress as minimally as I can(I’m a nervous kind of gal). I’ve tried not to pressure myself, but as I go into October, there are things I want so to do. I have a surprise I’m working on, and Christmas, of course. And this year is my year for all the family home for Thanksgiving.

I have soooo much to be thankful for. I really want a wonderful, perfect day. Yet, I know I can’t do as I have before. Luckily, I have a great family willing to help as they can. It’s just that I tend to try to do too much. It’s hard reining in my natural tendencies, but I will try.
So, I intend to go to my desk every day, open a vein, write wonderful poems and do it with as much Zen mindset as I can.