I have to apologize for neglecting this blog. I had no intension of not writing. I value those few who followed me. Love writing the blogs, but lately…No, let me be truthful. It’s been since August 13 that I’ve written a blog. Before that, quite honestly, I was slowing down, running out of things to blog. I was getting bored…so of course, I was likely boring.
Well, even that’s not the complete truth. Frankly, I was running out of things I wanted to be honest about.
And there it is. Honestly. I’ve always tried to be honest in my writing. (Hey, a saint I am not.) I like the honest writer, warts and all, respect them, want to be one. Even when things get a little ugly, hard, sad, tough. In fact, I think that’s what I like reading best…and I suspect so do most readers. I want to write honest…except….I’m so private, painfully shy and come from a family that is the same. And the years since I started the blog have been riddled with life unexpected.
Actually, the blog started from just that. So much of what was happening in my life, I felt like I had to be careful about what I said. After all, some of those involved might read it…might misinterpret what I said and take offense. The exact thing that so many writers writing memoirs run into. And I just wasn’t sure how to approach the more touchy things.
I started the blog after recovering from MPGN, a kidney disease that I thought was going to do me in. It didn’t, but during the illness I got scared about dying and as I recovered I got even more scared about my writing. It seemed lost. I’ve written many, many (ad nauseam, truly)times of all that, but what I didn’t write about—the before that continued during and continues still. Caregiving…husband’s retirement, age, frustration, anger, rejections, fear, guilt. Oh, I’ve touched on the subjects, but…It’s difficult, private and complicated. It’s the underbelly of my writing.
I made a decision to be up, to always grin and bear it, to be positive. And I stand by that decision still, but I think going forward I’ll try to write in a more honest way. After all, I’m still here, still writing, still caregiving, getting older, frustrated, angry, sometimes. And I still fear all the same stupid things. That’s a positive, right? And besides, I’m betting that there are more writers out there like me than writers that are never scared, never frustrated or anger, who have not a care in the world.
First, the apology to those who read this blog, if there are any left. There weren’t many anyway, but I’ve purposely and quite abruptly stopped writing my weekly/twice weekly blog. It likely came as no surprise, as the blog posts were not up to snuff, in my view and had fallen off in frequency, too. I know this happens to blogs all the time. The blogger has moved on, changed, time problems come, boredom comes. Life happens, in other words.
But I’m still in this. I’m still frustrated by: by a frail elderly mother whose memory sometimes takes me down the rabbit hole with her, a husband who tries, really tries but thinks he is the exception to that rule: she’s writing, don’t bother her unless there is fire, blood or water. Sons who need babysitting help, advice, a shoulder and my mother-instinct kicks in and their needs come first. And of course, there is the needed down time, housework—I don’t have help-meals, shopping—life. But…truth of the matter, these are my blessings, too and I know it. These are the same things every other writer is dealing with. And I know that, too. There may be health issues, divorces, money issues, but we all have similar stories and I think, I hope other writers can get something from hearing about mine, still.
• I’ll also start blogging about books I’ve read again. I’ll be recommending books I like. If I can’t say something nice about a book, I won’t say anything at all.
• There will be recipes. I eat, therefore, I cook but more importantly, I read a lot of cookbooks. I read them cover to cover like a novel. I love cookbooks and it is just one of the things I collect with a passion. I’ll recommend those I love that have something that makes them worth owning. If I try a recipe and like it, I’ll write a post with the recipe. If I tweaked it, I’ll write about that. I tweak a lot of recipes. I have a huge collection, but my absolute favorite recipes are those that are easy. Easy is perfect for other writers, right? I mean other writers are trying not to starve, trying not to let their love ones starve. I love to cook(we all have to eat), but not if it interferes with that chapter I can finally finish. So simple, easy is good and something to pass on. Just another thing that I hope will help other writers, but if it helps moms, readers and anyone else, so much the better.
• I’ll post about any new thing, idea or book that helps me in my writing.
• I’ll post about ‘finds’. Down time includes antique malls and swap meets.
• I’ll post a little about my dog because that is another reason my blog posts have dwindled to nothing. New puppy, lots of training. I’m three months into potty training (that’s gone perfectly, knock wood), basic command training which includes heeling on our daily two mile walk. (Only tripped once. I no longer bounce, but I survived.) She’s got sit and down. We’re working on stay. She sleeps by the desk while I work. Which is where I need her. She fills the void left by the dog before her and…there has always been a dog before her.
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