Listen

The morning has just been frustrating. Oh, I know it must be worse for so many others: mothers and fathers, pregnant women and others with underlying illnesses. I think I fit in there, but I’m not sure. Where I live, to avoid the huge lines that there has been for the H1N1 flu shot, we are to call on today to set up an appointment for the vaccine for the rest of the week. The calling window is from 9 to 10. I spent the hour trying to get through. Never did get through.

If MPGN doesn’t qualify for the vaccine, I’ll wait. I don’t want to take anything away from those who are suppose to get the shot, but if I qualify, I want to make sure I do all I can to stay health. I've worked so hard to regain my health. I did everything the doctors have said to do, plus. I've watched my diet, cutting out almost all salt and pushed myself to keep up with exercise Because...I do want to live and with a good quality,but I have others depending on me.

You see, I’ve lived through this kind of thing before. My father died in 1968 from a flu epidemic that was going around at that time. I was still in high school. It devastated me and I know it affected the rest of my life. At that time there was nothing you could do to prevent the flu, little to do if you got it. My father did have underlying health problems, but...and this is a big but. We didn't know it. How many this time around have no idea they are at particular risk? A neighbor just died-the same age as my father was when he died. 52, a young man, really, and still so much left to offer. His death, as any death, affects all those around them.

As I dialed and redialed, the action became so automatic that several times I almost hung up before I even heard the busy signal. It made me stop. How many times do we do that? Go along on auto-pilot. Don’t consciously know what we’re doing.

How many times are we doing that when we write? Hanging up before we hear the busy signal. Sticking with a project long enough to get to the good stuff, the stuff we really mean to say? I have a feeling, it's too often.

I had to stop and keep myself in the action of dialing, listening, hanging up. The listening was hardest, if my mind wasn’t truly engaged. A little writing lesson while I tried to get my flu shot.(They come in the strangest ways.) All lessons do, if you're really listening.

At least, I got something.