The Trying

Things have been topsy-turvy around here for this last week, what with Thanksgiving and all the preparation for dinner and family. Added to that was my Christmas present, which was a new hard-drive. My hard-drive was damaged and I’ve been nervous about it since I had my computer guru tune it up etc. in July.

So, I’ve been without my desktop since last week. I have a laptop, but I still prefer my desktop. I wrote my last blog on the laptop. I still missed my desktop. In fact, I felt much like a bird with only one wing. And once my computer was returned I’ve had all the programs to reinstall. A time consuming job, to say the least. But I’m done.

Still, I’m feeling jumbled. I was invited to go with my son and daughter-in-law to her ultra-sound. This time they also had a 3-d ultra-sound. Amazing. Back in the dark ages, we had to guess at the sex, etc. Today there were tears. I hid mine. It’s been a long journey.

Then, I had to get labs. I’m very nervous for this next doctor’s appointment. There were a few things my doctor is still watching. I just want him to say-I’m better. Go live a happy life. I’ll see you for your next check up.

Little worries like this nag me and Saturday, I got back my short story I sent out the week before—rejected. I told myself a rejection wouldn’t matter. I had accomplished something just editing the story, making it the best it could be and sending it off. (Look at last year or the year before.) And it was. I’m actually proud I did it, but oh, how I hoped it would sell at Country Woman. To me, it just fit and I’m not sure there’s anywhere else for it to belong.

So I’ve allowed myself a bit of feeling blue as I try to catch up my writing from the holidays and the upgrading and reinstalling, the rejection. Then, it’s back to work. I have three poems to get ready for the Writer’s Digest’s poem contest. I have many more stories and essays almost ready to go out in the world.

I heard Robert Redford quote T. S. Eliot last January in an interview on KSL News: “There’s only the trying, the rest is not our business.”—T.S. Eliot. And I’m doing the trying.