Opportunity

I’ve been working hard on editing “Ellie and the Tie-down Man.” The work has been, for the most part, going very well. As I said before, I could clearly see where I stopped when I was hit with MPGN, surrendered to fighting that. That brought forward many memories. Of hopelessness and fear. And worse, the question, would I ever write again?

Sometimes, surrender is the only thing you have control of. So, you do it. It kind of goes against my nature. As I’ve said before, it broke my heart. At the time, it felt like failure. It wasn’t. I was choosing to concentrate on what needed doing.

That was a lesson, I needed to learn and it’s served me well, too. I’ve been plugging away at this novel. Improving, tightening the novel, enjoying the work, thrilled with getting back into the story. I’m just four chapters from the finish. I’m ready to celebrate when this nagging thought keeps wiggling in the back of my mind. Word count. Word count? Word count.

What was the word count? What would it be if I kept going on as I had been? What is the word count for Historical Romance? Now, today? Not when I put it away. Not with the rough edges. But now.

I did some research. I added up my word count. I’m thousands of words over, if I leave everything as it is, but I’m just four chapters from the finish line. I feel as if I’ve been on a marathon and I have to go back and start over.

I’ve been on a four-day funk, too. Thoughts of banging my head against my desk sound helpful. Giving up this book, sound reasonable. I’m not even sure the book has anything to recommend it. There are other things: other novels, poetry, memoirs clamoring to be told. I’m not getting any younger. My time is limited. I’ve wasted enough time. I lost so much time and I have to be reasonable. Blah, blah, blah and yada, yada, yada….

Well, la, la, la, la, la, with fingers in my ears. It came to me. This isn’t about Ellie and the Tie-down Man. It’s about me learning something. It isn’t about getting published. It’s about lessons in learning to do this thing I was born to do. It’s opportunity.

It’s the opportunity to get this book right. Right now. It’s about pulling up my big girl pants, getting busy, and cutting a whole bunch of my carefully written words. And that’s what I’m going to do.


Happy Holidays